Postpartum Visit

We saw the midwives for the last time today. Well, I did anyway. S was happy to find that she can now see them regularly for all her gynecological needs. (Don’t think Felix and I’ll be tagging along for those visits!) Of course, who knows, maybe in a year or so I’ll be back in that little examination room for baby number two—but let’s not even go there right now.

S was excited to show off Felix, who sensed the attention and was bright-eyed cute and full of smiles, both real and gas related (he had just eaten). The last time any of them saw him he was hidden behind monitor wires and hoses in the NICU, and reintroducing him felt like the end of the birth chapter of this story. There were hugs and warm words and S made them cookies, which garnered the usual response of “when do you have time to bake?!” I’m fortunate that for S, baking and cooking make it onto her list of necessities. She finds time. (S says that she’s fortunate I’m around so that she has the time to find.)

The midwives told us that we seemed pretty together and well-rested, which made me feel both proud and also somewhat spoiled—it’s such a luxury having us both home. (Nine years of Catholic school trained me, like one of Pavlov’s dogs, to experience guilt along with every positive emotion.) Despite the daily flare-ups of tension or anxiety, the past six weeks have brought us so much closer together. S and I always worked well together, but now we’re operating like a tight team.

And speaking of, we received a prescription for special birth control pills that won’t leech estrogen into the breast milk and make Felix busty along with the go-ahead to have sex again, when we’re ready. Those last three words being the key ones. S was happily surprised to find that the exam caused her no pain, alleviating some of her fears about fooling around down there. Our biggest roadblocks are probably psychological. We’ve engaged in adolescent amounts of petting, making out, and cuddling, but except for a few wet oases, pregnancy was one long sex-free desert. You’d think we’d jump to it with abandon, but we’re going to ease back into this part of our relationship, literally. S isn’t quite ready, and not only am I out of practice (hello, performance anxiety!), but I’ve heard so many stupid things about sex post-pregnancy (you know, how it’s not good anymore because the equipment’s been all stretched out) that I’ll need some time to get out of my head and into the swing of things.

Hopefully more information than you’d ever want to know will be coming your way sooner rather than later.


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