Open Letter to Mommy-to-Be

Seeing as your joints are sore from slugging around thirty extra pounds (or thereabouts), and that your midsection aches because it’s not only stretched to the breaking point but now strains with practice contractions, and that at seven plus pounds our little son isn’t feeling so little anymore, especially not when he pummels your bladder so hard your pee-hole stings, it is totally alright if you are grumpy, easily-annoyed, and not in the mood to laugh, and damn straight you should feel some trepidation about getting the little sucker out. I would be shocked if you were feeling totally happy and carefree about the whole thing. Probably even an experienced breeder like the octomom felt fear and nervousness late in the game, as well as impatience and pregnancy-fatigue.

I know that underneath all the grimaces you still feel positive and excited to meet this guy, and confident in your ability to get through the birth without interventions. I’m going to be there with you every step of the way, doing my best to make you as comfortable as possible, whether that means rubbing your back for twelve hours, being a soft surface for you to scratch or bite (behave!) or hold onto during contractions, or just getting the hell out of your way when you don’t need me. I’m going to stay calm and collected in the heat of things, and stay on top of all the organizational details—calling the midwives, arranging the car to the hospital, taking care of the bags. (I promise no fainting or puking, though queasiness is a definite possibility, especially when after the birth when your insides gush out in a spray of gore.)

I can’t wait to see the two of you together, and for us to meet him and hold him and see what he looks like. We’re going to have a great summer caring for him, learning what it’s like being parents. You’re going to be an awesome mother, and you’re more than strong enough to get through this birth intact.

So be patient, and be grumpy when you can’t smile, and know that everything is going to be ok, and that soon enough these uncomfortable, yucky days, will be a blip in the distance.

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2 Responses to “Open Letter to Mommy-to-Be”


  1. 1 John M. May 9, 2009 at 7:48 am

    I was at my first niece’s birth–there will be no spray of gore! Just a little bit of blood and then that’s all.
    I remember there was this crazy moment when the baby slipped out and was totally still, and then suddenly she burst into life and was crying and freaking out. It seemed entirely like something great and invisible had breathed life into her wrinkled little body right in front of me, unseen. I know it was an illusion–the baby was just holding still for birth–but it was pretty incredible. Hope something similar happens for you guys.

  2. 2 KMB May 9, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    Very sweet! Go Mom and Dad!


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