Moving

Over the holiday, S felt the baby move. She described it as feeling like bubbles, only down in her uterus, not in her stomach. When she came home, I touched her as she stood still and picked up the movement, like there was something under my hand that shifted away. It’s not a kick yet, but it’s definitely a sign of the baby’s activity. More visceral than the general sense of the baby’s presence I had previously. It’s crazy to think that it’s inside of her squirming around, swimming! And it’s only going to get bigger. Makes me want to see the movie Alien again.

As the baby clamors around, we’ve been working to make space for it in the house. Before we left for Christmas, a generous friend dropped off a bunch of baby things – toys, a little chair, a swingy seat, a plush play-mat – and we need somewhere to store it all. We also wanted to carve out a niche for the baby’s crib. So we’ve shifted furniture around, and have been paring through our things, getting rid of books we don’t want, recycling papers, consolidating and cleaning, all good end of year activities that pick up on my Friday night reflections. We’re looking back in order to move ahead. Not only have we made room for the baby’s bed, but we’ve also found spots for diapers, and cleared off some bookshelves for toys. We’re re-configuring the space for three.

I was worried the apartment wouldn’t feel right, that it might be claustrophobic or look too busy and cluttered. Really this movement – the baby’s inside my wife, and the shifting of space in our home – is only the start. Soon enough it’ll be a real little person and we’ll be ceding more than our space to it, our whole priorities will change. In fact, they already are changing. I’m very picky about how I organize and keep my space. I guess I’m a little territorial – I like things to be just so, where I put them, organized for how I like to use them. Alright, so I’m anal. But I actually like the house a lot better with the changes. Even though we’re cutting down the amount of physical space, it feels bigger somehow, and looks more comfortable and homey. I guess I’m ready to let go of the old a little bit, and move on.

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