Revision

Had a wonderful conversation with my mom last night. I was all excited because the embryo’s reached week ten – the tail is disappearing, the fingers and toes are defining, tooth buds are forming. The basic blueprint is in place, and for the rest of the pregnancy the embryo will just be growing. Euphoria came over me and I needed to share it with someone, so I called home.

My mom expanded on some of the excitement she shared with us earlier (and which I wrote about as being a little over-the-top), explaining that when she said she “had a new purpose in life,” she meant that she feels reconnected to the feeling that life is full of positive possibilities. She’s regained an optimism that she’s forgotten over the past few years, which have been full of health concerns and life changes. She’s looking forward to the new relationship she’ll have with our child, a relationship that she’s never had with any person before, and she is open to being changed by it, and seeing how it develops. She even started keeping a grandmother journal, to capture her thoughts and feelings, so that she can share them with her grandchild in the future. She is so full of good feeling that she sent our friend next door, who just had a baby, a card. She feels so excited, so renewed, that she wants to share her good vibes with people.

While talking with her, I was moved. Her attitude – positive while acknowledging uncertainty, excited though realistic about the challenges of having a baby – seemed the best possible one to have towards the pregnancy, and it’s an attitude that I forgot over the past few days, as worry, fret, and grumpiness took over. It was just the note I needed to end the weekend on.

My parents have been full of love and enthusiasm for all of my decisions in life, from the career moves that have brought me further and further down the pay scale, to my relationship, which they recognized as being strong a long time before I did. They’ve provided constructive criticism, but always gently, and always with the understanding that I’m an individual who will do what I need to do. I want to revise my last post on this topic, and say that I feel very lucky my parents are so damn positive about the pregnancy. In this, as in so many things, they make great models for how I want to raise our child.

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